My Breast Cancer Journey

Aloha and welcome to my blog!! If you are new here, thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this. Did you even know that I had a blog?? No, well, this has been a blog of mines shortly after my son was born in 2004!!!  Anyways, if you was brought here to read about my Breast Cancer Journey, please take the time to look around after, and subscribe to my blog if you like what you see. 

Although it has been 7 years since my Breast Cancer Journey, I never took the time to actually write about it (other than through my personal journaling). However, the other day a sister in Christ had asked me to share with another sister in Christ who is currently going through her own journey. So instead of just sending bits n' pieces, I actually wrote this piece out, explaining the process of my thoughts, my thinking, and MY GOD and how HE got me through that battle back then. There has been so many more testimonies in my life since then, but this one is the one that the Lord continuously nudges me to "share about HIM" through my journey.

So here it is, I am sharing with all of you, and I pray that this blesses you, as it has blessed me writing it out. I didn't relive the situation, but I surely relived God's undying love for ME!!! It's a long read, so grab a cup of coffee tea or hot cocoa, and enjoy!!!

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My Journey Through Breast Cancer

 

My dear friend, I am sorry that you are going through this. It really sucks, but also eye opening to the foods we eat and the meds we take, but most of all, it brought me closer to Jesus!!

My cancer was brought on possibly by the birth control pills I was taking for 15+ years. But it could've also been attributed to the yummy junk food that I enjoyed eating as well. Regardless, cancer has no discrimination and chooses to attack a healthy body or an unhealthy body. My super healthy fit exercising coach friend was diagnosed shortly after I was going through my own recovery. So, don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out if you could've done anything else to prevent it.

I was diagnosed on June 26th, 2013. I had Stage 1, Grade 2 cancer, the cancer was in my milk duct, on my right breast, the size of a pea. I never felt a lump. It was at my 1st Mammogram that this lump was discovered. It was a lump that couldn't be felt while I was lying down. However, when I was sitting, I could clearly feel it. But it's weird because I was always taught to check my breasts when I'm lying down. Never occurred to me that I should check it while sitting up. Anyways, I remember going to by Ob-Gyn the day before my diagnoses, and he gave my breast an exam, and said, "they won't find anything. it's probably because your breast is just dense". I was relieved and believed him. Went to my appointment and they wanted me to return for a biopsy. Why did they want me to return, I thought there wouldn't be anything found?? Well, they found something of significance, and wanted a closer look.

I told myself, "it's ok, just procedure"... but I was also preparing myself to receive news that I didn't want to hear. I remember waiting in the waiting room - and praying, asking the Lord to not let it be me. But then, I remember changing that prayer, and saying, "ok Lord, maybe me, and if this is the way you want to use me, then so be it." Kinda twisted, but it was really the only way I could process everything happening.

 A few days later... my ObGyn calls and says that it is indeed a positive diagnosis of breast cancer. My husband was asleep, and I wanted to wake him, so that he could take notes. But my doc said, “You’re a smart lady, grab a pen, and write everything down, even if it is just words. You can then look at your notes and tell your husband”. I still have those notes. Somehow, at that moment, it was like he was reassuring me that it was gonna be ok. Strange how I think sometimes…. What was the next step, I asked? He said, “We take it out, get that cancer out of your body, and you go on and have a happy life”. Hmmmm… sounds too easy. I woke my husband up, and he and I both started bawling our eyes out. But after 2 minutes, I immediately stopped myself, and said, "I ain't gonna give any more credit to the enemy!! The devil will not take my joy!! If God allows me to go through this, I know he will be with me, every step of the way!!! But no more crying and giving the enemy a foothold!"

I was referred to an oncologist and he gave me these different options… you could do a Lumpectomy or Lumpectomy. Pop in on Tuesday, leave by Thursday. But I wasn’t sure if I just wanted to do a lumpectomy. Why? Because if I went that route, radiation will need to occur. Doc said “radiation is precise, and will point directly to the cancer area. You’d come everyday for 9weeks, and do a radiation for 14 mins a day. That’s it!!!” Really?? I thought…. Hubby n’ I didn’t think it was that easy. The aftereffects of the living cells within my body, would be dead. The possibility of the organs behind my breast would be destroyed or affected somehow!!! I also didn’t want to do Chemo!!! I just couldn’t come to that decision to just do a lumpectomy. On top of that, surgery wouldn’t occur til’ October 28^th. Why does it take so long for me to get a surgery date? Too many people with cancer, was what I was told. You are literally “getting in line” and that was the next opening. I asked what are my chances of having to do radiation if I had a lumpectomy?? 99.5% you gotta do radiation. What about chemo?? That depends on how well the radiation works. I just knew I didn’t want to do radiation. Oh, that other thing about having to do a lumpectomy, I would’ve had to gone back to get a mammo for my other breast, EVERY 6 months!!! Geez!!! No thank you!!!

I remember going to this surgeon with a list of questions on my iPad that I’ve asked him to answer. All answers kept leading to have a Lumpectomy. But I was not satisfied with this decision. I then asked him a question that I didn’t have on my list. It was “What if this happened to your wife, what do you think she would decide to do?”. He looked at both Charlie and I and said, “Well, I wouldn’t make that decision for her” (which Charlie wasn’t doing), “and she isn’t worried about her body image” (which I wasn’t either), “and being that she is also an oncologist, she would immediately HAVE THEM BOTH REMOVED!!!” My husband and I looked at each other, and it was like a God Moment for us, the Lord revealing exactly what we needed to hear. The decision to do a double mastectomy was now the decision I was going forth with. I just had to convince my surgeons to do it.

Waiting was the hardest thing through this whole process. But it was in the waiting that I grew stronger and deeper in love with Jesus. Learning to press into him and trusting on his promises. Remembering what was true, noble and all the great things that he has promised us.  

Then the Lord started revealing himself to me, even more, and started moving mountains…. Enter in a wife of my husband’s business friend, whom I only met once, at my youngest son’s 1^st birthday party, back in 2005, and I didn’t even remember meeting her then!! Her name was Karen. She too went through breast cancer and went through a double mastectomy! She also had the same surgeons and had some issues with them during her procedures.  I told her I didn’t want to go through a Lumpectomy, and that I’d rather do a double mastectomy, because doing the double would eliminate having to do radiation. Chemo wasn’t out of the question yet, that would depend on how much the cancer was growing within, so I would need to wait on that til’ after the surgery. But, Karen had encouraged me to switch doctors, because when she had them, they weren’t very accommodating to her choices. I thought I was “stuck” with the doctors I had. But Karen reassured me that I wasn’t stuck with those doctors and could request to make a change if I wanted to.

 You know how crazy this is… Karen’s ObGyn was the wife of my ObGyn!!! She simply called her ObGyn and mentioned to her that she had a friend that is a patient of her husband’s…. Asked if the husband would be willing to refer me to another pair of surgeons. God was soooooo in the details of all this. I just had to recognize and see it. I was immediately connected with the top plastic surgeon of Queens Medical, and the Medical Director of Surgery to both be my surgeons. Before I was even seen, my plastic surgeon already had a surgery date for me, October 16^th. (Why so late still? LOL…), but I felt so taken cared of, and they were so quick to get me in on an appointment and see me.

The whole transitioning to new surgeons was a testimony in itself, where God was so clear in who HE wanted me to have as doctors. Let me dive into this part real quick, and explain how it happened. So, when Karen had her ObGyn’s husband (my ObGyn) refer me to another surgeon, the 1^st pair of surgeons called me, and said that they could move my surgery up from October 28^th to October 5^th. Wow!!! I was ecstatic!! I already had the surgery date of October 16^th with the new surgeons. But I thought, well, if these guys could get me in sooner, then I should just stick with them right?! I was utterly CONFUSED at this time. Thinking should I go and see the new surgeons, or not? Cancel with the old surgeons or not? I remember calling my girlfriend, (now my DiL’s mom) and asking her about what she thought about all this, and she reminded me that God was NOT a God of confusion!!!! And he is NOT… because guess what happened 2 days later?!! The receptionist from the old surgeon’s office called me back, and then cancelled the October 5^th surgery date, saying that they cannot do the procedure that early, because one of the other surgeons were not going to be in town.  WHAT??????  What???? My mind was completely blown!!!! How the Lord totally took care of that for me, by showing me CLEARLY what I was supposed to do next…. I told the receptionist to cancel my appointment and I will no longer be seeing them!!! She said that if I was to cancel, then I needed to pay a $100 cancellation fee!! I said, “But you just cancelled on ME! So how about you pay me that $100 cancellation fee, so that I can pay you for my cancellation fee???” She said they would be sending the invoice in the mail. I never got it. But I had mentioned it to my new surgeons, and they told me if I got a bill, they would call and take care of it. I know the Lord was clearly shutting a door that NO MAN could open and opening another that NO MAN could close!!!!! 

When I met the Medical Director of Surgery at Queens, she looked at my chart and said, “I don’t know why the other surgeons would suggest a lumpectomy! Your cancer is so close to your nipple, that it would be virtually impossible to save it (my nipple).” Thus, she agreed with my decision to have a double mastectomy, but also because of where the cancer was located, the removal of my areola and nipple was suggested. Even though I could’ve saved the left breast, and not remove those parts, I thought it would look better the same than being different! SO PRAISE THE LORD that she did both sides!!!!

Meeting my Plastic Surgeon was the best thing that happened to me during this process. His name was Dr. Vincent NIP. Yes, God’s got a sense of humor!!!! He was straight forward, personable, and also very funny, which made me very comfortable to be myself with him. But he too had a testimony of his own. He weighed 280 pounds before I met him, and told me that he stopped eating junk, because he couldn’t be an example and asked others to eat better, when he himself was looking kinda fluffy. My go to favorite snack was “Frosted Flakes”. He said I need to stop eating those frosted flakes all the time, and just eat them only once in a while, or not at all. To find other healthy alternatives. Eventually, he nicknamed me “Frosted Flakes” because every visit, he would ask me if I stopped eating them yet. LOL!! “Eh, Frosted Flakes, you still eating frosted flakes or did you stop yet?”. Those times with him really made me feel comfortable and I was trusting him with what he was gonna be doing to my breasts. He was honest in how hard it would be after surgery, and how hard he was gonna be on me to adhere to his rules, so that I could get better faster.

As the surgery date got closer I would have more dreams of being in a dark room, not being able to see any light. I was scared and worried about going under, and never waking up. I kept telling my husband about these dreams and thought that I must be really scared to go under. Well, this would be the first time I’d be going under. We had plenty of church ohana praying for me. When we first found out about the cancer, Charlie and I remembered how our church’s prayer ministry leader heard about my diagnoses. She said one morning before church, “Hey, we wanna lay hands on you and pray for you”. We both said, “ok” thinking that it would just be the 4 of us standing there, praying together. We were fairly new to attending this church, so we didn’t know that much people yet. But after the 1^st prayer, another person started praying, and then another, and by the time the 3^rd person started praying, I had looked up to see who else was there to pray, and there was literally a CROWD of people, all hands upon shoulders, each one on the one before them, til’ it finally reached a hand on the shoulder of Charlie and I. My hubby reminded me of these people who prayed and who continued to pray for and with me. That these scary dreams didn’t stand a chance against the Kingdom of Christ!!

Plenty of church ohana was pouring into me, encouraging words. I remember a worship team sister, saying she saw me in a battlefield, and that I was surrounded by Soldiers of Christ, including myself being a soldier, armored by his shield and protected. That I was gonna get through this battle. Our Kahu Waxer (Pastor) prayed over me, reminding me who Jesus was, and HE’s got this. I was just to be still and KNOW HE IS GOD!!!! Our church Ohana would fellowship and sing praises to the Lord, and they prayed over me, too. Sooooo many that helped us get through that time in our life. God was so evident in our life then, as HE still is now!!!  I was also reminded by my brother in Christ and Worship Pastor Matt, who texted me one morning, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27, and that same morning, when I opened up facebook, and the first post I seen was, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” John 1:5.  God was in the details!!!! I knew that the Lord was with me before, he would be with me during and he will always be with me after. I was in good hands, HIS hands!!! 

 There were so many times that I was hit by all kinds of thoughts, maybe the surgery might not go well…. What if I lost a lot of blood?? What if my air got cut off?? What if I was AWAKE in the middle of surgery and could feel everything, but they didn’t know I was awake?? These were the CRAAAZZZEEEEE thoughts and questions that were running through my mind, and it was scary!!!!  But the biggest fear of all that I had was that should I have died, I would’ve been so sad to have my family go through the pain of losing me. But I remember another sister in Christ, she told me that it is what I am holding on to the most, that I needed to LET GO OF. SO HARD!!!! I prayed and asked the Lord to take these fears of my family being left behind, and I gave them back to HIM, knowing that they would be ok, because they would have JESUS to fall back on.

Surgery date, October 16^th, 2013. Double Mastectomy. My Anesthesiologist introduced himself to me and said, “Hello, my name is Doctor Ravi”... I was like, wait, what?!?! Like Ravi Zacariahs??? Yes, another God moment for me!!!! I think back and am so relieved how the Lord kept revealing himself through all these “little glimmer of light” through people and things that always reminded me of HIM.

Surgery time supposed to be 8 hours. Mines lasted 12 hours. Both my areolas and nipples were completely removed – til’ this day, I have none. No, you cannot see them!! LOL! Just imagine manapuas. 😊 I can easily get them redone, but have no desire to. I woke up, dizzy, and nauseated. Throat was dry, but they were feeding me ice chips. I think I was in recovery room for at least 1-1/2 hours, then they moved me to the pregnancy floor. Dr. Nip has “clout” at Queens, and all of his cancer patients went to the pregnancy floor, for he knew the nurses there would take care of me on a more gentle and comforting level. Who knew you could do that?! God Did!!!!

Before and after surgery, I started to juice, vegetables and fruits. I read that juicing would help restore any damaged cells and help restore my body. I still juice once in a while, especially when I feel sick. That is my 1^st go-to method of making myself feel better.

Upon being in my own room, they asked me if I needed more meds. I was on Percocet. It made me nauseous and I didn’t like the feeling of the room spinning. I also have vertigo, so I didn’t want it to turn into that. I remember thinking if I just close your eyes and tell everyone and everything to stop moving, I’ll be ok. I denied any pain meds after that first dose. I have high pain tolerance and thought that I’d manage it. My surgery location was still numb, so that wasn’t painful. But my muscles…. My arms, my back… what was going on?! All these places were so sore!!! I asked how long I was in surgery, “12 hours”. Huh?! What happened?! Just took longer than usual. I asked the hubby to pick me up Vicks Vapor Rub (of all things), and rub them all over my back, arms, and Praise the Lord, it worked!!! I never needed to take any more pain meds for the rest of my healing time.

Healing time: 6 weeks. I went home with 6 tubes coming out of the sides of each of my tiny lump of breasts. 3 on each side. 1 bulb attached to each tube. The nurses taught my husband how to “strip” the tubes. He was supposed to strip them every 4-6 hours for the next 2 weeks. Log down the amount of liquid extracting, all the while without accidentally yanking or pulling it out. Ugh!!! Worst thought ever!!! I was to keep my arms from being raised. “Tyrannosaurus Rex Arms” was what my doctor said I needed to do. No lifting anything. No driving. Have someone help me with showering and using the bathroom. However, I was able to shower on my own, and use the bathroom on my own. Very slowly, I got it done. I needed to return to the doctor every 2 weeks for him to “fill” my expanders with saline, so that the skin that was left could stretch to the size it needed to be for my implants when reconstruction would take place.

After 2 weeks, 2 tubes were removed. After 6 weeks, the last 4 tubes were removed. I was just happy that those tubes were gone, and no longer a possibility of getting them caught on knobs or other things around the house. Most of my time healing was spent on my bed, on my back. I was always in a 45-degree position. My legs bent. Til’ this day, that is still the most comfortable position for me to sleep in. I was also informed that cancer didn’t spread, therefore, no chemo needed to be done. Hallelujah!!!! I do want to mention that I have phantom pains, which are sharp pains, that may spring on at anytime. I was told that these are due to nerve damages in my breast that occurred while removing the breast tissues. I’ve learned to “meh” the pains, and just live with it. I don’t really think about it, but when it happens, it simply reminds me of what I went through.

I did not have reconstruction surgery done immediately. I decided to wait because we were going on college tours that following spring for my oldest son, and did not want to have to miss it. My plastic surgeon said it was fine, that we could do the surgery after the tour. In the meantime, I had expanders in my breast, and they were just little tiny mounds. But I always knew that my identity was and is ALWAYS in CHRIST JESUS, so it never bothered me that they looked that way.

After the college tour, my reconstructive surgery was scheduled. Again, in October, the following year, 2014. Surgery was quick. I didn’t even have to stay overnight. I woke up, and was in recovery room for 45 minutes, and then they released me. I am no longer on birth control pills, and my treatment was to take tamoxifen for 10 years. I am now on my 7^th year, and pray daily that I am doing the right thing – because I’ve read so much things this med can do to our bodies, but I also pray that the Lord blesses my body and continues to heal me, with no damages from this med.

In 2016 there was a cyst found on one of my fallopian tubes. Yay me!! ObGyn suggested to remove the cyst, but said that it would also be wise to remove fallopian tubes if there were any damages to them, because of the breast cancer, and taking Tamoxifen, it would lessen my chances of getting Uterine Cancer. Fallopian Tubes were removed.

Here it is 2020. My breast still feels weird. I keep checking them as much as I can. I go to my oncologist every 6 months and supposed to be checking in with my plastic surgeon every time I go and visit Hawaii. We just moved to WA in November of 2019, then Covid19 happened. On my next trip to Hawaii, I will be seeing my doctors there, and hope to still get good diagnoses. Your body will never go back to normal, but it is your way of thinking that will need to change. That it isn’t “I who live, but simple it is Christ Jesus who lives in ME!!!” Thank you for asking me to write this, because as I re-read this, I too am reminded of this very thing!!!!  Continue to strive for Jesus and keep doing whatever HE guides you to do, and you will totally be content with the cards you were dealt.

Hope reading my journey through breast cancer helped you find peace, comfort n’ even a little bit of laughter. All in All, God was with me through it all. He was strength, my comfort my peace. He provided me with a husband who lovingly took care of me daily and boys that stepped up and helped around the house. He provided me with family and friends that helped with meals. He provided me with HIS CHILDREN that surrounded me and my family at that time, lifting us up in prayer, 24/7. But most of all, HE provided me the vision to see things through HIS eyes, and the way to LOVE through HIS HEART!  I pray these same things for you!!

 

With Love,

In Christ Jesus,

Jen Young

 

Some fun facts for me to remember:

 

·       October 28^th: 1^st Day the “other” surgeons gave me as my surgery date – also my friend/worship pastor’s bday (Matt)! I knew God didn’t want him celebrating his bday, and being worried about me having surgery, so that surgery date was NOT gonna happen!!! LOL!!!!

·       Karen – Name of my husband’s friend’s wife, now MY FRIEND, also a sister in Christ, and also the same name of my nutritionist and sweet friend n’ sister in Christ who also encouraged me to kick my once a day pepsi habit!

·       Dr. Ravi – My Anesthesiologist, but also the same name as “Ravi Zacharias”. LOL!! Call me crazy, but this was comforting on all levels right before going under. “Count backwards from a 100” he said… “99….” Was all I remembered. Then I was waking up. Wait, all PAU??! Then I started laughing because I was supposed to start from 100, not at 99!!! LOL!!!!

·       Dr Nip – My Plastic Surgeon he “Nipped” those Nipples Off!!! Love him n’ his wife, Antoinette. They will always carry a special place in my heart. So blessed that the Lord chose Dr. Nip to be my doctor.  

 

Aloha,
Jen



"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within ME!!!"  ~Psalm 51:10~